If I had a light
I would find my way home
If I had a dream
I wouldn’t mind being alone

I would climb the steps
On my own
I would climb the steps
On my own

If I had known
I would have changed everything
It’s not regret
It’s this other thing

Take a look outside
Tell me what you see
Then lie and lie again
Have some mercy on me

If I had a light
I’d take it on the chin

Don’t be silly now
We knew this day would come
It may take a little while
But it gets everyone

If I had a light
I’d take it on the chin

So here I am.
I remember a Past that didn’t exist. I remember a future as it appeared before me in a past that no longer exists.
And although I never had that future, I miss it. I miss having that future. It looked promising and happy and quiet and a part of the world around me.
But that future never existed. It was never going to exist. Because the Past I remember didn’t exist either.
Gostava de poder voltar a ter esse futuro.
So here I am.
If I were to break myself down (and why would I want to do that?) piece by piece, I’m afraid I’d quickly realise that all those pieces don’t really amount to much. It just looks that way because you can’t help but look at it through your hopes and fears, I’m afraid.
I’m afraid I can’t do that.
I’m afraid there’s not much more than can be done.
I’m afraid I’m running late.
I’m afraid I might be a failure.
No. Best not say these things out loud. They are not supposed to be inflated with the breath of life. “Oh, poor little guy...”. And that right there is proof that not only are you a failure but you’re also pathetic.
And there’s nothing worse than being pathetic. Well, maybe being ugly.
Não consigo retirar daqui grandes consequências práticas. Não que as tivesse de haver. Mas era um pormenor simpático.

Found myself there one day
On the back of the wheel
Looking at everything through the corner of my eye
Not sure what was real

I ran into this girl
She said “what are you doing back here?
I thought you’d left
Did you miss us, my dear?”

And then she laughed

I didn’t think it was all that funny
But I didn’t say a word
I just said yes, thank you, please, good bye
And prayed I wasn’t heard

I looked around and saw a shuttered window
Then I looked around and saw a few more
Felt like this was an aftermath
And I had missed the war

And then I cried

There was a billboard on the town square
It had my face on it
It said something about heroes and traitors
And I guess I was on the wrong side of it

I drove past the house where I grew up
And it wasn’t there
I drove past where I had my first heartbreak
And it wasn’t there
I drove past where I was told to give up
And it wasn’t there
I drove past where I once cried when I realised you become what you hate
And it wasn’t there
I drove past my old school
And it wasn’t there
I drove past where I’d run off to to be alone
Away from everyone

And now there’s no one here

And I saw my mother
And I saw my dog
And I saw the pine trees
And I saw the fog

Who do you think you are?

Era uma vez um menino a quem perguntaram “não preferias ser bom da cabeça?”. E ele respondeu: “Eu? E deitar fora este equilíbrio de insanidade que tanto tempo me demorou a construir?”

Era uma vez um miúdo que disse assim: “ah eu cá não quero nada disto. E não é a mim que me obrigam!”

Aprendi onde cresci que os falhanços eram todos meus e as vitórias todas sorte imerecida. É um esquema ardiloso que está ali montado. Até porque todas as tentativas de o denunciar, dão com a tromba no muro do “olha a fazer-se de coitadinho!”.
Aprendi lá que todos os falhanços são nossos e de que não adianta olhar muito lá para cima se aquilo que mereço e para o qual estou destinado, está lá em baixo.
Aprendi a sentir-me uma fraude quando as coisas corriam bem. Aprendi a sentir-me culpado pelo peso que carrego nos ombros, por o peso ser pesado.
Pois.

I want to tell you baby how much I feel
I’ve got so many feelings that make me real

If I had a light I’d take it on the chin

I want to tell you baby how much I feel
I’ve so many feelings, they make me real

If I had a light I’d take it on the chin

I want to tell you baby everything I feel
I’ve got so many feelings, I think I’m real

If I had a light I’d take it on the chin

Well now I have told you my story
I hope I’ve told it well
And I hope you go away with something
You can take straight to hell

Well and if you were to ask me
What I tried to tell you
I could tell you a bunch of things
But it’s just that there is beauty in truth